"The top of the mountain is nothing without the climb."

The first time I was brave enough to jump on a road bike, I was in the middle of cancer treatment.

I had been diagnosed with aggressive ductal carcinoma on March 15th, 2013 and surgeons and oncologists were saying things to me like "We'll do everything we can". I had a 3-year old son, whom I was desperate to potty train and then overnight, I was facing a battle for my life.

After 4 months of neoadjuvant chemotherapy, I underwent a bi-lateral mastectomy and reconstructive surgery and then launched into months more of adjuvant chemotherapy and targeted therapy infusions. Significantly weakened from treatment, I knew I had to do something to reclaim my physical power and self-confidence, so as terrified as I was of skinny tires, I started riding a road bike.

I clipped into pedals for the first time one day in May of 2014. Though my body was wrecked from months of chemo and surgery, the bike gave me freedom and hope. Riding, even though there was no wind in my hair, was the most pleasure I had experienced in years. I had no idea at the time, that cycling would grow into a passion and that passion would morph into a lifestyle. 

To this day, I credit that steel 10-speed LeMond with saving my life and I have wanted to ride the Pan Mass Challenge ever since.

So in 2016 and finally done with treatment, I felt strong enough to look a century ride in the face and signed up for the PMC. I was excited to ride with my fellow survivors. 

But here's the kicker: soon after I registered to ride my bike across Massachusetts, I was sidelined with a new diagnosis of cervical cancer. I had to quit even before I started.

That year I spent little time on the bike and lots of time healing from a full hysterectomy. I felt embarrassed by the second cancer diagnosis, as if I had failed to be the warrior I had identified as. I told only a select few people I even HAD a second cancer. It was "over" quickly, with just the operation, but it left me infertile and consequently bereft. I felt incredibly sad and frustrated by the overnight menopause. I was 36 and I was shaken. It was obviously then I had another mountain to summit: I needed to figure out who I was in this very different body. I focused on helping other cancer patientsthrough free yoga classes and coaching. The PMC would have to wait. 

So, even though I have been a part of the cancer fundraising community for the last 9 years, and have ridden in 3 Tour de Pinks for the Young Survivors Coalition, this year will be my first time riding in the PMC and I am thrilled to be on the Boston Bruins Foundation team! My adventure with cancer was a one of the biggest challenges of my life and I wouldn't have made it without my supporters. This small thing; fundraising and these two hundred miles on my bike are the very least I can do to pass on the love. 

For whom do I ride?
There are many cancer warriors I hold close to my heart every time I ride or swim in support of cancer fundraising. But for this PMC, I ride in memory of my fellow Nantucketer Karli Stahl.

Help me reach my $20,000 goal by donating here.

With all my gratitude & thanks,

Caitlin

In honor of all the cancer warriors fighting out there right now, including my cycling coach Jen Murphy and in memory of my late husband Aaron Watkins and friends Patty Dargie, Natasha Grosshans, and Erin Coonan